4 Techniques To Control and Disarm a Manipulator

Have you ever found yourself entangled in a web of lies and deceit? No matter how badly one struggles to reach for the surface, a manipulator pulls the target back in. So, how to put a manipulator in their place and reclaim one’s sanity?

When we are surrounded by positive and supportive people, we feel emotionally secure and stable. Their positive influence nurtures our self-worth and their presence makes us feel happy, loved, and supported.

On the other hand, manipulators in the guise of friends or well-wishers can rob us of our peace of mind and thrust us into a dark abyss of self-doubt, anxiety, and unimaginable pain.

Related: 7 Common Manipulative Phrases each followed by a logical and self-valuing Response

An astute manipulator is one who fulfills their motives without much effort at all. Manipulators get their victims under their control through various tactics only to serve some vested interest.

The biggest hurdle in overcoming a manipulative relationship is that most people don’t know what is happening and unknowingly allow it to continue for prolonged periods of time. So, how to put a manipulator in their place and disarm them?

How To Put A Manipulator In Their Place?

Here are the sure-shot ways to control a manipulator:

1. Recognize The Issue At Hand

If you can recognize the problem that is the source of trouble in the relationship, then you can instrumentally solve it. Manipulators often have their needs take precedence over others and often expect that the person around them should be available at a moment’s notice. Manipulators smooth talk or guilt-trip their victims to do their bidding.

How to put a manipulator in their place? If you can see through the sweet talks and realize their real intention, you have the upper hand over the manipulator.

Related: 6 Tactics Manipulators Use To Control And Confuse You

2. Question Their Every Move

Part of the entire manipulative relationship is all about meeting the never-ending demands they put on you. They phrase their requests in such a way that you feel privileged when you dole out help.

A manipulator thrives on exerting control and the idea is to put back the focus on them and ask questions. When you ask probing questions, you actually shine a light on the true nature of the favor.

How to put a manipulator in their place? When there is self-awareness, you will see the true nature of the situation, and manipulators would change the request and withdraw it altogether.

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3. Always Say No And Exert Firmness

You probably cannot change the ways of a manipulator but you can stop being a victim of their manipulation. This starts when you start saying no to their requests.

How to put a manipulator in their place? Refusing to get manipulated is the first step toward breaking the cycle of victimization. It is imperative that you free yourself from their influence. This is the only way to deal with a manipulator.

Read: What Is A Conversational Narcissist?

4. Make Sure You Use The Time And Responses To Your Advantage

Serving relationships that are manipulative is not fun and you should buy time to your advantage. The idea is to stop falling prey to manipulators. It is fine if you create boundaries and say no for the sake of the well-being of your mind and body. You are better prepared to help others if you put yourself first and say no when things do not suit your interests. The idea is to honor your needs.

You have control over the choices you make. What you don’t have control over are the choices that manipulators make. How to put a manipulator in their place? Focus on the what, why, when, and how of your own life—and give up trying to manipulate the manipulators. Just let their demands go. Let them focus on fulfilling their own needs while you work on taking care of your wants and needs.

Read: Take The Self-Gaslighting Quiz To Know If Your Are Being Manipulated

How To Deal With Manipulative People?

The only way of dealing with manipulative people is to change ourselves. We have to be the kind of people who can’t be manipulated. If you’re feeling manipulated, ask yourself what you need from that person. If you don’t need anything, they can’t manipulate you.

The most common manipulation tactic is a sort of unhealthy “exchange.” For example:

Between a parent and a child: “If you obey me, I will love you.”
Between spouses: “If you keep me happy, I will stay with you.”
Between a boss and employee: “If you never upset me, I will keep paying you.”

Related: over-controlling Parents: The Burden Of Being Over Controlled As A Child

We can see how manipulation thrives because each person is upholding his or her respective end of this distorted agreement, and how the only way of controlling manipulative people is to realize that we don’t need the thing that is being leveraged anymore.

So in other words, as a grown child, the love and approval we crave are already inside us. As an employee, we can find another job if the demands become unreasonable. As a spouse, we don’t need our partner’s approval in order to feel good about ourselves.

How to control a manipulator? Stop playing their game.

Related: 5 Hidden Signs, Your Good Guy Is Actually Manipulating You

Been there? Have you ever faced similar situations and wondered how to put a manipulator in their place? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Please feel free to write to us, share your experience, and give your valuable comments.

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