How To Use The 5 Love Languages For Self Love

Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages is iconic when it comes to having a happy and emotionally satisfying relationship with your partner. Just like having a healthy bond with your partner is important, having a healthy relationship with yourself is important too, and one of the best ways to love yourself in the right way is by applying the 5 Love Languages for self love.

The way you love and support others, and help them be the happiest version of themselves, how many times do you do that for yourself? Do you show yourself the same kindness and love that you show others? The best way to live a truly happy and fulfilling life is to love yourself first, because at the end of the day if you do not love yourself, you will never be able to love anybody else the right way.

So, what is your self love language, and are you ready to know how to apply the love languages for yourself? Read on to find out.

How To Use The 5 Love Languages For Self Love

1. Acts of Service

Acts of Service conventionally focus on feeling happy and loved when your partner shows kindness and affection towards you, but it is something that you can also do for yourself.

Prepare a list of all the things that you need to do to make your life easier and less cluttered, and then tick them off one by one, till every one of them is done. This will help you have your life in order, be more organized, and by default, a lot more stress-free. Acts of Service isn’t just a good idea for your partner, it’s an amazing thing to do for yourself too.

For example,

Scheduling regular check-ups with your doctors for your mental and physical health.

Organizing your home in such a way that it makes you feel happy and peaceful the moment you enter it. Having a nice, clean house can make you feel amazing and sorted like nothing else.

Taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally and physically, so that you feel beautiful all the time.

Eating and preparing healthy meals and taking care of your body. Treating your body like a temple will help you tremendously in life, especially as you get older. If you take care of your body now, it will serve you well, even when you are in your 60s and 70s.

2. Words of Affirmation

This is one of the most important love languages for self love. Feeding yourself with positive thoughts and mantras can help you so much when it comes to treating yourself with kindness and love.

Fill your cup to the brim with a lot of positivity and self-love affirmations, and just see how your life changes for the better.

For example,

Make sure that your self-talk is always positive, and keep your inner critic dormant. Be your biggest cheerleader.

Maintain a diary, and note down all your positive traits and all those things that you are grateful for in life. Write down your accomplishments, your dreams, what makes you feel good, what you love about yourself, etc.

Chant self-compassionate mantras, and always focus on being kind and compassionate to yourself.

Enact positive self-affirmations daily to yourself. The more good things you feed your heart and brain, the happier you will be.

3. Quality Time

When it comes to the 5 love languages for self love, this is one of the most important ones. Quality time means spending time alone, away from all the chaos and complications of life. If you feel inclined towards quality time as your love language, then focus on solitude.

The more comfortable you are with solitude, the more confident and secure you will be about yourself. After all, when you have no trouble being alone, you are nothing short of unfuckwithable.

For example,

Do all those things that make you happy, like bingeing on Netflix, reading a book in your favorite cafe while sipping on your favorite coffee, sleeping, playing video games, watching a movie alone, etc.

Find time daily for mindfulness activities like meditation, yoga, tai chi, deep breathing, etc.

Exercise at least 4 times a week, to take better care of your body and keep your mind fresh.

Don’t drown yourself in work and commitments; take some time out for yourself and do things that make you happy. Life is not always about deadlines, rat races, and work meetings.

4. Receiving Gifts

Just like receiving gifts from your significant other makes you feel happy and special, gifting yourself your favorite things can be a source of joy and happiness too.

All those things that you have had your eye on for a long time, why wait for someone else to gift them to you? Pamper yourself!

For example,

Go on a solo road trip, or a solo vacation to a place where you have always wanted to go, but never seemed to find the right time and the right people to go with. Traveling alone can be extremely cathartic and liberating.

Tick off experiences from your bucket list, like skydiving, paragliding, swimming with the dolphins, scuba diving, ice skating, etc.

Buy things that you have always wanted to buy. Buy things that you know for a fact will make you happy.

Go for important experiences like maybe invest in higher education, take a cooking class, learn a new language, volunteer at an animal shelter, take ukulele lessons, etc. Whatever you want to do, the world is your oyster!

5. Physical Touch

This is another one of the important love languages for yourself. You do not always need your partner or someone else to make you feel happy physically; there are so many things you can indulge in to pamper yourself.

For example,

Take care of your skin by religiously following a skincare routine. Moisturize your skin every day to keep it soft, supple, and in a healthy condition.

Draw yourself a hot bath with some relaxing essential oils and Epsom salts. This will help you release toxins from your body, and also help you to release all the pent-up stress and exhaustion caused by your day to day life.

Stretch your body muscles daily, and massage yourself with an electric massager or a foam roller.

Indulge in a self-spa treatment where you give yourself a relaxing pedicure, manicure, head massage, etc. You are worth it, you know?

Self-love is as important as a happy romantic relationship, and the more you love yourself, the more content and at peace, you will be in your life. When you apply the 5 Love Languages for self love, you are making an important commitment that you will always treat yourself with care, dedication, and kindness. Apply these love languages for self love, because you deserve it!

Published On:

October 21, 2020

Last updated on:

February 25, 2025

Self Development, Self Love

Alexandra Hall

Hi there! I am someone who is trying to navigate through life, one day at a time. Writing is my passion and my job, and I am happiest when I am writing. I love reading comic books, watching drama movies, playing with my dogs and generally lazing around. An introvert by nature, you can find me in the farthest corner of the room in every party, playing with the dog and having my own party.

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How To Use The 5 Love Languages For Self Love