How Being ‘Always’ Right Makes It Wrong For A Relationship

Written By:

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Written By:

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

How Being Always Right Makes It Wrong For A Relationship 2 1

Oh, we all like to be right, don’t we? Even if we keep the smug “I told you so” to ourselves, we like being right. We need relationship help for sure when things deteriorate in your relationship to just wanting to be right.




In a recent Relationship Insights class, this came up when a participant said,

“Why can’t she just see I’m right in the first place and come to depend on that? Why does it take her so long to admit I’m right?”

Wow, what a loaded question! First of all, he firmly believed he was right so there was really no room for discussion. He was just humoring her by even conversing with her. it seemed. Then, he expanded it to suggest that he is always right. And, then, to make it even less helpful, he suggested she does not deserve time to think about things. Big issues here.



If you have a need to be right, you’ve got some work to do! None of us are right all the time. That’s for sure. But, many of us are raised to be perfectionistic, and that requires thinking that we CAN and, perhaps, should be right all the time. For those folks, like myself, who were brought up that good enough was not good enough, we have the opportunity of becoming more realistic about life and a little easier on ourselves. The fellow in my class really needs to be able to make a mistake and not think the world is going to fall down around his ears…permanently.

 

The relationship help he needs at this time is to be able to listen to his partner’s point of view with an open mind. When your mind is filled with being right, it’s awfully hard to let anything else in. So, a few helpful thoughts:




  • Take a breath, let it out slowly through the mouth, to bring yourself to the present moment.
  • Make the time to listen.
  • Look for commonalities in your thinking rather than differences.

 

Remember, there are a lot of places along the way between the extremes of right and wrong. I hope your relationship is more important than being right!

Become a Contributor at The Minds Journal

We Want To Hear Your Story. Share your work,thoughts and writings and we will make sure, it reaches the world! Submit Now

Written by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Originally appeared on Forrelationship.com

The Relationship Help Doctor
Relationship Consultant. Mediator. Speaker. 
Urgent & Ongoing Care for Relationships in Crisis…including the one with yourself.

You may also like

How Being 'Always' Right Makes It Wrong For A Relationship






— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

, , , , ,

— About the Author —

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD.  When you’re ready to say ‘No more!’ to toxic relationships, unnecessary drama, and poor examples for your children to follow, work with Dr. Shaler directly now  Subscribe to her Tips for Relationships. Listen to her podcasts for valuable insights and strategies to reclaim yourself, and create healthy relationships with yourself and others:Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, and Save Your Sanity: Help for Handling Hijackals.
Leave A Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work? 7 Useful Tips!

How to Make Long Distance Relationships Work? 7 Useful Tips!

Do you believe in long distance relationships? If you’re in one, you must know how satisfying and equally challenging it can get. Understanding how to make long distance relationships work, can, therefore, be the most important thing for you, right now!

Successful long-distance relationships (LDRs) are proof that even in today’s fast paced world of speed dating, ghosting, and phubbing, for some people at least, love is still about emotions, feelings, patience, values, faith, and trust.

For them, distance, carnal desires, and instant gratification don’t matter; what matters is to be true to their heart’s de

Up Next

Sudden Repulsion Syndrome: Why Does Love Turn To Disgust Overnight?

12 Sudden Repulsion Syndrome Symptoms: When Love Turns Sour

Ever looked at your partner and, out of nowhere, felt the ick? The way they chew, the way they breathe, even the way they exist near you suddenly feels unbearable. If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing Sudden Repulsion Syndrome (SRS). Here’s a breakdown of what it might mean in your relationship!

This strange phenomenon can strike out of nowhere, especially in long-term relationships or marriage. One day, everything feels normal, and the next, you can’t stand being around your partner. But why does this happen? More importantly, how do you overcome it?

What Is Sudden Repulsion Syndrome In Marriage or Long-term Relationships?

Up Next

How To Get An Avoidant Ex Back: Do They Always Come Back After No Contact?

How To Get An Avoidant Ex Back? 8 Tricks Work Like a Charm

Do you love hard? And did it push your partner away, instead of pulling them closer? If yes, then you might be dealing with an avoidant! So, how to get an avoidant ex back? Let’s find out!

Reconnecting with an ex is challenging enough! To top it all off, if your ex is someone with an  avoidant attachment style, you have your work cut out for you.

Avoidants can’t handle emotional pressure or demands. They are hyper independent people who value their personal space a little bit too much.

And if you’re someone with an anxious attachment style, then chances are you have come on too strong, and scared them off.

Please don’t think you’re be

Up Next

7 Signs You’re Unknowingly Being Mean To Your Partner

Being Mean To Your Partner? 7 Toxic Habits To Watch For

Being mean to your partner doesn’t always look like full-blown fights or throwing personal insults around. More often than not, it’s those little, unintentional habits that slowly chip away at your relationship, and by the time you notice them, it’s already too late.

You might be under the impression that you are simply joking around or being honest with them, but have you ever asked your partner if they feel the same way as you? Maybe there are signs you are the toxic partner, but you have never really stopped and thought about it.

We all screw up sometimes, but recognizing the problem is the first step to fixing it. So, let’s break down some of the sneaky ways you might be being mean to your partner—without even realizing it.

Up Next

7 Signs Of Agape Love: What It Means To Love Unconditionally

7 Signs of Agape Love: What It Means To Love Unconditionally

We all know who messy modern relationships can be. Swipe right, swipe left, ghosting, breadcrumbing, situationships – it’s a circus out there and things are getting even crazier! In the midst of all this, exists something called “agape love”. Today, we are going to talk about what it is and the signs of agape love.

So, what keeps some relationships rock-solid when everything else feels disposable? It’s agape love. And once you experience and understand the characteristics of agape love in your life, it’s like an eureka moment.

You realize that true and unconditional love is more than butterflies and romantic gestures; it’s more about being there when it matters the most, even when things may seem tough.

Let’s first try to understand what is the meaning of agape love really.

<

Up Next

Are You Loud Looking For Love? Ditch The Games, Try This New Dating Trend

5 Benefits Of Loud Looking Dating Strategy

Ghosting, breadcrumbing, and all those exhausting dating games, who has the time anymore? If you’re over the confusion and just want something real, it’s time to embrace loud looking dating strategy!

What Is Loud Looking Dating Strategy?

As per Tinder’s Year in Swipe 2024, loud looking is all about putting your intentions out there, no filters, no second-guessing. Whether you’re searching for casual fun or your fu

Up Next

Dating a Reserved Person: 9 Simple Ways to Make Them Feel Loved

Dating a Reserved Person: 9 Tips for a Happy Relationship

Dating a reserved person is like opening a book with a locked cover and several layers – it takes time, finesse and patience to understand them. Don’t expect them to open up in the very first date itself, nor will they shout their love from the rooftops.

But once you understand how to handle their quiet charm and silent nature, you will discover that reserved individuals love very deeply, think profoundly and make some of the most loyal partners out there.

So, if you are dating a reserved man or woman, this article is going to help navigate dating them without making things awkward.

Related:

— Follow Us —