On Having the Courage to Disappoint Your Family to Be True to Yourself

Written By:

Ana Waller

Written By:

Ana Waller

On Having the Courage to Disappoint Your Family to Be True to Yourself 2 1

family sacrifice

“It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.” ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The invitation

There is something about family that makes us behave in strange ways. Something about family that makes us think that it’s okay to betray our own Soul just so that we won’t disappoint them. And that it’s okay to neglect our own path, our own happiness and our own purpose in life for their happiness.

Ever since I came back to Romania to write my book, I gave all of me to my family. Because I assumed that maybe one of the many reasons why life needed me to be back home was so that I would “sprinkle some fairy dust” on them, I immersed myself in this “family world” and I did my best to be a good daughter, a good sister, a good aunt, a good niece, and so on. And before I knew it, I lost my sense of self.  I was no longer Luminita, this being who had no interest in labeling herself as a “daughter”, “sister”, “aunt”, “Romanian citizen”, etc., and no interest in placing herself in all kind of “boxes” and then desperately trying to act according to the instructions that were written on those” boxes”, but rather someone who was more concerned with not disappointing her family than she was with being true to herself. 

When you start doing things that aren’t in alignment with who you truly are, saying “yes” when deep down inside you know you should say “no” just because you don’t want to disappoint those around you, because if you do, you “risk losing their love and affection”,  and when you start acting as if other people’s happiness is more important than your own, you can’t help but lose yourself. You can’t help but forget who you are, what you stand for, and what truly matters for your heart and Soul.

This is something that happens to a lot of people. Because of the many things our families, and people in general, expect  from us, and because of the many ideas we have in our heads about  how we should behave in our  families based on the role we play – mother, daughter, father, husband, wife, etc., in a very subtle way we slowly but surely start to lose our sense of self. We forget about what we want, what we need, and who we are underneath it all, and we drift away. Consciously or unconsciously, we start behaving in ways that no longer feel truthful and authentic to us, giving up on ourselves, our dreams, needs, and desires, and becoming more of whatever the world expects us to be and less of who we truly are.

“When you give to others to the degree that you sacrifice yourself, you make the other person a thief.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant, paraphrasing A Course in Miracles

We all want to feel that we belong, that we are approved and accepted by our family and everyone around us. And even though it’s beautiful to have all of these things, it’s even more beautiful to be loved for who we truly are. It’s even more beautiful to be loved for always being honest with ourselves and those we love, for standing our ground, and for always living in alignment with who we truly are.

You might think that trying to please your family and constantly making their needs more important then your own is a noble thing to do, but if in this process of you trying to make them happy you forget how to be happy yourself than there’s nothing noble about that. What’s so noble about betraying your own Soul just so that you can please everyone around you? What’s noble about making other people’s lives and happiness more important than your own?  What’s noble about betraying your own Soul just s that you won’t “disappoint” those around you?

“For far too long we have been seduced into walking a path that did not lead us to ourselves. For far too long we have said yes when we wanted to say no. And for far too long we have said no when we desperately wanted to say yes. . . . When we don’t listen to our intuition, we abandon our souls. And we abandon our souls because we are afraid if we don’t, others will abandon us.” ~ Terry Tempest Williams

There is a path each and every one of us needs to walk upon. A journey to full healing and self-discovery we all need to take, and even though the happiness of our parents, our brothers and sisters, our partners, our children, uncles, and cousins matters a great deal, it shouldn’t matter more than our own happiness. It shouldn’t matter more than our own journey, our own path and our own purpose in life.

“You are the source of all purity and impurity. No one purifies another. Never neglect your path for another’s, however great his need. Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” ~ Gautama Buddha, The Dhammapada: The Sayings of the Buddha

Shake things a little bit. Have the courage to “disappoint” your family to be true to yourself. Choose short term discomfort over long term resentment. Make the relationship you have with your Soul, your path, and your purpose in life the most important relationship in your life. Seek to always live your life from a place of truth and integrity. Because  only by taking good care of yourself and by making yourself truly happy, can you make those you love  happy as well.

“If you are happy, you can give happiness. If you don’t love yourself and if you are unhappy with yourself, you can’t give anything else but that.” ~ Gisele Bundchen

If you want to be of service to those you love, to help and make their lives a lot more beautiful, happy, and meaningful, then choose to honor who you truly are.  By making your happiness, health and well-being a priority, by having the courage to stand your ground and to live the kind of life you know deep down inside yourself that you should live, not only do you give your family permission to know the real you and to love you for who you truly are, but you are also inspiring them to be true to themselves and to live their lives from a place of truth and integrity.

Life is too short to be anything but happy. Too short to live a life that is not yours to live and walk on a path that is not yours to walk upon. So dare to be yourself fully. Do the things that feel right in your heart for you. Never betray your Soul just so you can please your family, or anyone else, because if you do, no matter how much love you will receive from these people, you will never feel loved enough. You will never have peace of mind. For how can you be at peace knowing that you aren’t loved for who you truly are, but for something you pretend to be. How can you be at peace knowing that you have gained the world but lost your own Soul?

This article has been republished from PurposeFairy.com, click here to view the original copy.

On Having the Courage to Disappoint Your Family to Be True to Yourself

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

,
, , , , , , , ,

— About the Author —

Ana Waller

Hi there! I love writing, and it is the best part of me and my life. I was always interested in the world of mental health, and hope to help people through my writings.
Leave A Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

How Delusional Confidence Can Help You Succeed (Even If You Doubt Yourself)

5 Reasons Why You Should Practice Delusional Confidence

Society tells us to be humble, to wait our turn, to only claim what we can prove. But what if the secret to success isn’t waiting for proof—it’s acting like you already have it?

Some of the most successful people in history weren’t necessarily the smartest, the most talented, or the best prepared. They were the ones who refused to entertain doubt. They acted as if their success was inevitable—until it was.

Delusional confidence is not about arrogance or ignorance; it’s about choosing belief over fear, faith over hesitation. It’s about backing yourself so hard that the universe has no choice but to meet you halfway.

Up Next

A Gentle Guide To Spring Cleaning Every Part Of Your Life

Spring Clean Your Life in 8 Simple Steps!

If you’ve been feeling stuck, unmotivated, or just a little off, you’re not alone. The start of the year can be tough, and sometimes, it feels like we’re just going through the motions. But with spring finally here, it’s the perfect opportunity to reset, refresh, and spring clean your life—not just your home, but your mind, habits, and daily routine.

Think of it as a fresh start, a chance to let go of what’s been weighing you down and make space for new energy and motivation. Whether it’s decluttering your space, breaking free from negative habits, or simply creating more time for yourself, a little spring cleaning can go a long way.

Here are some things you can do over the next few weeks to glow up and snap out of the funk.

Up Next

The ‘Grass Is Greener’ Syndrome: Why You Always Want More (But Never Feel Satisfied)

5 Toxic Signs Of Grass Is Greener Syndrome: Do You Relate?

Do you ever feel like no matter what you have, something better is always out there? That nagging feeling that your relationship, job, or life in general could be more exciting, or just… better? If so, you might be dealing with the Grass is Greener Syndrome.

It’s that restless voice in your head that constantly wonders if you made the wrong choice. You scroll through social media and see people seemingly living their best lives, traveling to exotic destinations, landing dream jobs, or being in picture-perfect relationships. 

And suddenly, what you have feels dull in comparison. This constant chase for something “better” can be exhausting and, more importantly, prevent you from appreciating the present moment.

Let’s learn more about it if you find yourself getting stuck in the ‘Grass is Gr

Up Next

5 Key Mindset Shifts To Make Your Dreams Come True

5 Powerful Mindset Shifts That Will Make Your Dream Life a Reality

Mindset shifts are the key to manifesting your dream life.

Every year, I set goals and made vision boards, convinced that this time, things would change. But by the end of the year, nothing had moved. It felt like I was stuck in the same place, no matter how hard I tried.

Eventually, I realized the problem wasn’t my goals—it was my mindset. I had limiting beliefs running the show, quietly holding me back from everything I wanted. My thoughts were filled with self-doubt, and deep down, I didn’t truly believe I could have the life I was dreaming of.

So, I made a change. I started paying attention to my thoughts and replacing negative ones with self-affirming beliefs. I stopped questioning if I was “good enough” or if my dreams were “too big.” Instead, I started acting as if

Up Next

15 Profound Universal Truths To Understand The Human Condition

15 Profound Universal Truths to Understand the Human Condition

Have you ever noticed how some truths about life just hit different? These universal truths about the human condition are the kind that stick with you long after you’ve heard them.

KEY POINTS

Well-written memoirs often share universal truths that connect with readers on a deeper level.

Universal truths are many, and each of us can have our own unique set.

Learning about others’ universal truths can help you find our own way.

In my memoir writing workshops, I always emphasize the importance of each story having a universal truth. While many are w

Up Next

Are You Too Non Confrontational? Here’s How It’s Sabotaging Your Life

Is Being Non Confrontational A Bad Thing? 5 Clear Reasons

Are you the type of person who stays silent even when something bothers you, just to keep the peace? If so, you might consider yourself as a non confrontational personality. But what if I told you that this trait might be doing you harm, more than helping you?

While avoiding confrontation might seem like the best way to maintain peace in relationships and workplaces, it often comes at a high cost. Let’s dive into why being non confrontational is affecting you and how you can strike a balance between peacekeeping and standing up for yourself.

Up Next

7 Surprising Benefits Of Touching Grass (You’ll Want To Do It Daily!)

7 Cool Benefits Of Touching Grass: (You Should Try It!)

Ever heard someone say, “Go touch some grass”? It’s an internet slang often thrown around as an insult, telling people to log off and reconnect with reality. But behind the sarcasm, there’s actual wisdom in those words. So, let us explore the real benefits of touching grass.

We spend hours glued to screens, scrolling or doom scrolling through social media, binge-watching shows, or getting lost in heated online debates. Spending too much time online can leave you feeling disconnected, drained, and overwhelmed.

The constant floo

— Follow Us —